Tuesday, January 31, 2012

10 for 10

I don't look nearly this sexy when I do my muscle-ups...
  because I can't do a muscle-up... yet!

I've been Crossfitting for 10 months now.  Since I began last April I've lost 30lbs (at one point I could say I'd lost 43lb, but then the holidays hit and I began swapping Paleo meals for lattes and pumpkin bread - rookie mistake).  But more importantly, I've gone from being a sedentary, insulin-resistant, slightly agoraphobic and borderline diabetic to being an active, weight-lifting, meat eating, fitness machine.  I've learned so much from Crossfit that I'd like to share with y'all.  And I guarantee there's an even bigger education lying ahead for me this next year.  For now, I present the top ten...

10 Things I've Learned in 10 Months of Crossfit:

  1. When you're committed to taking a 6:00 am class and that alarm goes off at 5:30, you must remind yourself that showing up is the hardest part.  It's harder than the pull-ups.  It's harder than the burpees.  Ignore the voice inside you and just show up!
  2. You aren't the fastest or the strongest, and that's okay.  There will always be someone better than you.  Let them inspire you, then, inspire yourself by doing your best.
  3. Respect that your body changes everyday.  A 400 meter run can be a piece of cake one day and feel like torture the next.  Hormones.
  4. Whether you're squatting or running keep your head up.
  5. Nothing compares to the feeling of finishing a WOD.  You want that feeling.  You love that feeling.  And the only way to get it is to do a WOD.  You reap what you sow.  Sow somethin'!
  6. Never row barefoot.  It hurts.
  7. Don't eat cupcakes before a workout.  Eat them after.  Or don't eat them at all... unless it's your birthday... or someone else's birthday.  Or, whatever.
  8. Doing your best is the best you can do.
  9. Introduce yourself.  Go ahead and be that person.  You know that person?  The really nice one who extends a hand to every new face she sees to say "welcome" and "we're in this together".  Yeah.  Be her.
  10. Have fun!  Really.  Because it is.
Get movin' homies!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Law of Attraction

Do you believe in the Law of Attraction?  I used to, years ago.  I got sucked in with the rest of western society when The Secret came out.  I went whole hog into the world of vision boards, meditation and positive visualization.  And after a year or so, I gave up.  My million dollar check never showed up in the mail.  My supermodel legs never grew in.  And Tina Fey never called to tell me she'd like to turn my one woman show into the next indie comedy blockbuster, ala My Big Fat Greek Wedding.   So I gave up on it.  Plus, the idea that billions of suffering people in developing countries around the world are there because they "attracted" it never made sense to me.
So yeah, I have to say that I don't believe in the Law of Attraction.
This morning, after I woke up with a massive that's-what-you-get-for-drinking-caffeneited-coffee-when-you-know-your-body-can't-handle-it-headache I hopped on my bike to head to work - without my helmet.  My head was pounding, and I couldn't bare the thought of strapping on a tight, constricting apparatus around my oh-so delicate melon.  As I left the house I thought of a Doogie Howser M.D. episode (yeah, I went old school) where a woman dies in a car accident after she refused to wear a seatbelt because she didn't want to wrinkle her dress.  I thought to myself "you'll feel really stupid if you get in an accident while not wearing a helmet because you have a headache".  Then, about five seconds into my ride I got hit by a car.

Now, before you worry (mom), I should specify that the car was backing out of a carport at about five miles an hour.  It knocked my bike and my body to the ground, and after a few mighty screams and a series of panicked banging on the trunk, the driver stopped just short of slowly rolling over my frightened figure.  I'm fine.  My bike is fine.  And the driver, though equally shaken up, is fine (I hope).  To be honest, I was a little disappointed that I didn't have a war wound to brag about when I got to work, especially since it took a good half hour to slow my heart rate and get my eyes to stop watering.
So the question remains: do you believe in the Law of Attraction?

Saturday, January 14, 2012

A Call to Arms

I'm a homebody.  When given the choice between heading up to the Sunset Strip to party at a bar or staying home in my pj's sipping tea and watching a movie, I'll choose the latter every time.  So when Adam told me that a friend of ours was celebrating a birthday at Red Rock last night, I knew we should go, but I didn't want to.  So much so that (when Adam wasn't looking) I went into the bathroom and cried about it like a child might cry about not wanting to go to school.  I really, really did not want to go.   
I've never seen a doctor about it, but I'm pretty sure I have some sort of social anxiety disorder.  I care too much about how I'm perceived, I hate small talk and I tend to avoid strangers.  I also had those pesky gremlins in my head, pointing out my flaws and how audacious it would be for a chubby, thirty-something in jeans and and a t-shirt to dare try and mingle with svelte, twenty-something would-be models with their high heels and mini-skirts in the heart of Hollywood.  I felt old and fat (and tired after working with energetic first graders all day) and I just wanted the comforts of home.  
But I'm not a child, I'm not old and I'm not fat.  So I did what any self-respecting woman would do.  I shook it off.  I washed my face, donned my best pair of dangly oh-no-she-didn't earrings and put on a rocking shade of red lipstick.  I braved the beautiful and the unknown, and I got by with a little help from my friends.  And though it pains me to admit it, I had fun.  
I write this in the hopes that the next time my shoulders begin to rise in nervous aprehension from the thought of a night out in the wild, I'll remember that all the bullshit in my head is just that - bullshit.  It's time to grow up and get out.  Let this be a call to arms for you too, dear reader.  Don't let your insecurities keep you from living life.  Take a risk and reap the reward!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Who's Bad?

I've been working on eliminating negative self-talk for years.  Why do I do it?  Where does it come from?  How can I make it stop?  All questions for a future therapist when I can finally afford one.  Until then, I try my best not to label foods as "bad" or "good", and more importantly, not to label myself as "bad" or "good" when I indulge in said foods.
That said, check out my mostly Paleo answer to my weekend desire for being bad indulgent:

Paleo Fish and Chips

This meal was as equally delicious as it was nutritious.  Okay, the white potato is not completely nutritious (or Paleo), but tossing a potato with olive oil and roasting it in the oven is a far cry from diving knee deep into french fries at McDonald's.  So there.

Here's the recipe:

1lb Fresh Fish (I used Tilapia)
1/2 cup Shredded Unsweetened Coconut (I used Bob's Red Mill)
1/2 cup Almond Meal/Flour (I used Trader Joe's)
1/2 tsp. Baking Powder
1 tsp. Creole Seasoning (or Salt and Pepper to taste)
1 Egg
Coconut Oil and Olive Oil
2 Russet Potatoes
Salt and Pepper

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.  Slice up your potatoes and toss with as little or as much olive oil as you like, salt, and pepper.  Bake for about 20 minutes, turning the tots over after 10 minutes.
When your potatoes have been in the oven for about ten minutes, get started on your fish.  Slice fish into "tender" size pieces.  Mix coconut, almond meal, baking powder and seasoning in a bowl.  Beat the egg in a different bowl.  Heat up your oil in a skillet.  50/50 coconut and olive works great, but any healthy high-heat fat would do.  Take a tender, dip it in the egg, dip it in the dry mixture, then gently place it in your hot, oiled skillet.  Repeat.  When the cooked side begins to look golden brown, flip your fish gently.  Serve with lemon!  Delish!

xo tay

Sunday, January 8, 2012

My Heart Beats

Welcome!  Now, you might be saying to yourself, why is this blog called "I've Got a Perfect Body..."? Isn't that a little egotistical?  And really Taylor, I've seen you in a tank top, and perfect your body is not.
And to that I would say wow, that's really rude. I'm working on my Michelle-Obama-arms, thank you very much, and they'll be ready by summertime, bitch.

This blog is called I've Got a Perfect Body... for several reasons, the most important being that, in the grand scheme of things, I do in fact have a perfect body.  When I have enough intelligence and maturity to step away from the mirror and ignore the gremlins in my head that want to count every dimple of cellulite on my ass, I have the divine ability to acknowledge my perfections.  My heart beats.  My joints flex.  My brain sends and receives messages.  My skin is whole, my hair is there, my eyes see, my back bends, oh the list could go on and on!  But alas, those moments of higher-self are few and fleeting, and most of my days are spent like the days of many other Western women, plotting ways to lose those pesky (fill in the blank number of) pounds so that I can have a 'bikini-ready' body by spring.  So yes, this is "I've Got a Perfect Body..." because I have a perfect body, and because you - yes, you - the reader, have a perfect body too.  No matter what is going on inside you right now, you have the ability to read this blog.  That means your eyes and your brain are working fabulously! I mean, what more could a girl ask for?  Yeah, yeah, perky boobs and volleyball player quads... have you been paying attention to anything I've been saying?
The other reason this blog is called "I've Got a Perfect Body..." is because, in all honesty, my original blog titles were already taken.  Viva la Resolution?  Taken.  Pretty Paleo?  Taken.  Let Me Eat Cake?  Taken.  But sometimes in life happy accidents occur, and I like where the title of this blog is taking me already.
Which brings us to the point of all this.  Most of you know Viva la Healthy, my "weight loss" blog. (Notice the quotations around weight loss).  I'm hard on myself because I didn't lose the amount of weight in the time I wanted while blogging on Viva la Healthy. But the fact is, I have lost weight since I began the blog.  A year ago I was 220lbs - a dangerous number for a 5 foot tall lady.  I've since lost 40lbs, and although I'm still trudging down the rocky road to a healthy BMI, I feel a gazillion times better than I did a year ago.  That's because I follow (to the best of my ability, and as much as possible) a Paleo Diet, and because I lift heavy things and work my ass off at Crossfit. So this blog will be about Paleo and Crossfit, and all of the athletic goals I will attain this year.  Weight loss will occur naturally, but I'm through with living my life for loss. 2012 is about the things I will gain.  Strength, speed, mobility, control, confidence. Wow, I sound sexier already!
And because balance is key, I'll be throwing in a few "Mind" and "Spirit" goals in the mix.  Coming up with my "Body" goals was a piece of cake, pun intended.  But coming up with "Mind" and "Spirit" goals is tricky... I'm embarrassed to admit what that says about me.
There will be ups and downs.  There will be recipes and photos.  There will be triumphs and revelations.
Who's coming with me?
xo tay